As you age, you might feel like you’re spending more time alone, but you’re certainly not alone in this experience. According to the U.S. Department of Labor’s Time Use Survey, which has been visualized in a widely shared graphic, many people find themselves increasingly isolated as they grow older. The survey indicates that time spent with children, family members, and friends declines steadily after the age of thirty. As a result, most of your interactions might be limited to your partner (if you have one) and co-workers until retirement. By age seventy, people typically spend an average of one hour with friends and non-spouse family members and about eight hours alone each day.
This growing isolation can significantly impact your mental and physical health. In 2019, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis, highlighting its severe consequences. However, the widespread nature of loneliness means that many others are also looking to connect. By reflecting on and deepening your current relationships and exploring new ones, you can enhance your chances of staying connected well into your senior years. Ready to take action? Here are seven expert tips for overcoming loneliness after fifty.
First, avoid comparisons. Loneliness is a feeling that doesn’t necessarily mean being alone. Licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT, emphasizes that comparing yourself to others with busier social lives can make you feel lonely, even when surrounded by people. She suggests normalizing the notion that everyone feels lonely at times and that your feelings of loneliness are not a sign of failure. Recognizing that everyone’s journey is unique can help mitigate negative self-judgment and open up space to reach out and connect. Whether your loneliness stems from a significant life event or changing dynamics, offer yourself understanding and compassion before seeking solutions.
Next, try activity sampling. Bray recommends embracing new activities to discover new passions and connect with others who share your interests. Often, older adults have devoted their lives to work, child care, and caregiving, leaving little time for personal hobbies. Sampling various activities can help you identify what you enjoy and lead to meaningful connections. Taking the initiative to engage in activities alone can also lead to unexpected opportunities to meet new people and build self-confidence, reminding you that you don’t need to rely on others for fulfillment.
Volunteering is another excellent way to combat loneliness. It offers the chance to meet new people and reinforces a shared sense of purpose and positivity. Ray Christner, PsyD, NCSP, ABPP, suggests offering your skills or interests to a local organization that resonates with you. Colleen Marshall, MA, LMFT, advises considering your passions when choosing where to volunteer, whether it’s reading to children, helping at an animal shelter, or assisting at a local hospital. Volunteering can help you connect with others and make a positive impact in your community.
Reconnecting with past relationships can also help alleviate loneliness. Sometimes, we drift apart from friends and family due to the demands of daily life. Bray suggests reaching out to rekindle these connections. Past relationships can be especially rewarding because of the shared history and mutual interests. Scheduling time to reconnect can help you rebuild these meaningful connections.
Lastly, schedule time to deepen your current relationships. Marshall recommends setting regular appointments to connect with friends, family, or other important individuals in your life. Even if you only have a few close relationships, consistently scheduling time to connect can help strengthen these bonds and provide a reminder that you have meaningful touchpoints in your life. If weekly meetings aren’t feasible, consider scheduling with multiple people to ensure you have regular social interactions.
By following these tips, you can take proactive steps to combat loneliness and foster meaningful connections, enhancing your well-being as you age.
